Mediation and Co-Parenting

Author: Gary Salatto
Center for Divorce Mediation: LiDivorce Solutions

Divorcing couples with children will fare better if they can work out an effective co-parenting plan.  In order to work out a successful plan with your ex you need to be able to put aside your feelings and concentrate on what is best for your kids.  Because, after all, a parenting plan is about your kids, not you or your ex.

Working out a good parenting plan also helps to assure your children that they are more important than whatever problems caused the end of your marriage.  The benefits your children can derive from a parenting plan include:

Security and stability. When your kids understand that they are loved by both of their parents, it is easier for them to adjust to divorce and reduces concerns about their future relationship with one or both of their parents.

Consistency. Any parent understands that children need consistency in rules, discipline, rewards, and routines.  An agreed upon plan between the parents can help to ensure that children know what to expect and what is expected of them.

Issues that should be covered in your plan

In most custody arrangements, major decisions about the children are made by both parents.  Taking an open and honest approach and allowing the best interests of your kids to guide you will help in working out a co-parenting plan that ensures your kids’ well-being. While there are issues unique to each family the issues that should always be included in any co-parenting plan are:

  • Health care and medical needs
  • Education and tuition
  • Religious or philosophical upbringing
  • Financial needs
  • Any special needs
  • Religious upbringing
  • Financial needs

And while you both want the best for your children, there will be times when you disagree on what the right approach is for a situation or issue.  During times of disagreement with your spouse remain respectful, keep the lines of communication open, and be willing to compromise for the good of your children.

An experienced Long Island divorce mediator can help

Co-parenting plans can difficult to work out on your own and an experienced Long Island divorce mediator can help the process go smoother.  By acting as a neutral third party a divorce mediator can help you work out an effective and fair parenting plan that will be good for your children, you and your ex spouse.

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