Has a long deployment put you at risk for divorce?

A new study by the RAND Corporation has determined that the longer a service member is in a combat zone, the higher the risk for a divorce.

The study showed that the longer the deployment the more likely that marital problems would arise—regardless of whether or not the deployment was in a combat zone.  However, the divorce rate was higher for women service members, for members deployed to a war zone, and for couples who married before 2001.  In an ironic turn, the study also found that 97 percent of the divorces occurred after the deployed service member returned home.

The challenges of sustaining a marriage during long separations

It may be obvious that long separations from your spouse can put a toll on your marriage.  The absence of a spouse from the day to day life of a family can cause the remaining spouse to feel isolated, alone and overwhelmed with the responsibility of keeping the family together.  And it is a good idea to establish a support system to help you through the tough times, such as:

• Immediate family members
• Extended family members
• Spouse support groups
• Church or clergy members
• Counselors and counseling groups

When divorce is the only solution

Separations are very difficult for families and once reunited it is natural to want things to return to normal and be as they were.  However, that does not always happen.  If your situation is such that you believe that divorce is the only solution you have choices on how to approach your divorce—traditional litigated divorce, mediated divorce and collaborative divorce.

Litigated divorces tend to be adversarial and can force even more trauma into the situation than already exists.  It is also costly and if issues are disputed may take a very long time to resolve.  Mediated divorce and collaborative divorce, however, takes a less emotional approach, and works toward providing a win-win resolution for both spouses.  And it may be a better solution for your family.

Discuss your divorce with a New York divorce mediator

No one believes when they marry that divorce will happen to them.  If you are considering divorce, talk to a New York divorce mediator  to learn about the options available in your situation.

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