Do I Settle with Divorce Mediation or Head to Divorce Court?

Author: Gary Salatto

Reaching a settlement that both parties are happy with can be difficult but is possible if the ex spouses are committed to a positive outcome.  Your ex spouse may be open to a settlement if he or she shows:

  • Open and willing communication
  • A positive response to alternative dispute resolution
  • Cooperation in developing a co-parenting plan

Spouses who are willing to set aside their differences for the good of their family are generally more likely to consider alternatives to litigation such as collaborative divorce, mediated divorce and negotiated settlements.

On the other hand, spouses with control and abuse or violence issues are not good candidates for such processes and are more likely to want a court battle.

Although you may feel hurt or upset by betrayals committed by your ex spouse it is wise to think carefully before you initiate any steps to get revenge.  While taking your ex to divorce court may validate your desire to get even, the financial and emotional costs can be dear, including:

Estrangement of family members

  • Substantial emotional stress for you and your children
  • Revelation of personal family matters in open court
  • Considerable time and financial costs

A litigated divorce also opens the door to other individuals participating in the outcome of your divorce.  The court has the authority to bring in various professionals to help make determinations such as social workers, family therapists, professional evaluators, and Guardian ad-litems.

While there are certainly circumstances in which you have no choice but to litigate your divorce, opting for a negotiated settlement or another type of cooperative process in your divorce is more likely to result in a better outcome.  A Long Island divorce mediation attorney/collaborative attorney can help you determine if your situation is conducive to a mediated divorce, collaborative divorce, or a negotiated settlement.

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